YOU ARE RISKY

The damn girl I laid beside on a Saturday afternoon ended up having herpes and it sort of messed with my head for several months. Basic California type. Gorgeous, dangerous, and into that fucking polyamory shit everyone totes around nowadays. I really wanted to get in bed with her, but of course it was risky, naturally. She told me she was born with herpes. That sort of statement never dawns on a young man until he is faced with the infected pussy. 

I lived in the barracks on the marine base. Fresh out of divorce, freshly 21. I picked her up, we got some grub, and made our young way back to my place. I always played it classy, especially the hookups around noon. The wind from the ocean blew through the parking lot and I watched her glistening medal framed glasses shine in such yellow-golden California sunlight. Thinking bout’ fornication, ripping her top off, fucking her brains out. 

I played the cheesiest card in the book and put Cat Stevens on the turn table and got to work. The place was 200 square feet, the only thing we could really even do was fuck. Make-out action turned to foreplay and then came the high dive. I remember having my member out and her eventually reaching out to grab it. I hesitated and scooted back. I was on my knees above her, saying,

“Well, what if I ate you out?”

I always remember that weird awkward press and release look of despair in a woman’s eyes. 

It’s sort of emasculating to let a woman down, but that's just my preference. She nodded quietly and I went down. 

I couldn’t let her touch my dick. She had herpes. I wasn’t risking my entire manhood for a cheap date? What would the rest of my life look like? I spelled the alphabet backwards with my tongue and got the usual— enthused gasps and awes I go for in these situations. 

Even with a condom on, I wasn’t risking it. When she wasn’t looking, I slipped it off and hawked a big ball of spit straight to the end and slipped it back on. She told me she was ready and I told her I was done. 

Radiohead played in the car, she looked out of the window on the ride home. 

I was safe. A close call.